


The Chemistry Group Chat

by ilikepie1079



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chemistry, F/F, F/M, Gen, Group Chat Fic, I'm sure of it, John-centric, Johnlock will happen, Lots of it, M/M, Multi, Ships are everywhere, Slow Burn, Teen AU, Teenlock, actually, but it's going to be a slow build, grammar nazi Sherlock, group chat au, it will probably the main focus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-06-10 17:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6966997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikepie1079/pseuds/ilikepie1079
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello, guys! It’s John, as you probably know. I’m making this gm for our chem project, since we’re all working together.<br/>---<br/>It's mostly a fic, where John makes a group chat in hopes that the group can get chemistry work done. But instead a lot of other things transpire. Such as a coming out party? And the infamous Grammar Nazi Holmes? As well as the changing of many nicknames.<br/>And then, maybe John and Sherlock fall in love? But that's not until muchhhhhhhh later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SHERLCOk

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is me messing around. That's it. Have fun. This is just for fun. Do not take it seriously.  
> I'm dead inside. This is my contribution to Sherlock Fanfiction.  
> You're welcome?

_You added Sherlock, Mary, and Molly to Group Chat._

 

_Group Chat_

_Saturday, 4:30pm_

 

 **John:** Hello, guys! It’s John, as you probably know. I’m making this gm for our chem project, since we’re all working together.

 

 **Mary:** Who’s 4567?

 

 **Molly:** That’s me! I’m Molly. And u?

 

 **Mary:** It’s Mary! I’m so glad to finally have your number Molly!

 

 **Sherlock:** Why are we doing this?

 

 **John:** Chem project. We all need to be able to communicate with each other

 

 **Sherlock:** Why can’t we just call? Or talk to each other

 

 **John:** This is easier. And we can just text each other the stuff over the weekends

 

 **John:** Also, don’t you prefer to text?

 

 **Mary:** We should rename the chat

 

_Mary named the conversation to “Chem Project”_

_4:33 pm_

 

 **Sherlock:** If you’re going to name it, name it properly.

 

_Sherlock named the conversation to “Chemistry project”_

_4:33 pm_

 

 **John:** Capitialize the p

 

 **Sherlock:** *capitalize

 

 **John:** Shove off, grammar Nazi

 

 **John:** You care how I type capitalize and yet you leave the p lowercase

 

 **Sherlock:** Not my fault I know how to spell

 

 **John:** But you lEFT THE P LOWERCASE

 

 **Sherlock:** Do you suddenly have OCD, John?

 

 **John:** fight me

 

 **Sherlock:** Oooo how scary. The automatic capitalization came off. Now we get to see the real John

 

_You renamed Sherlock to “grammar nazi”_

_4:35 pm_

 

 **grammar nazi:** Ouch. I’m so hurt

 

_You renamed yourself to “innocent cinnimon roll who doesn’t deserve this”_

_4:35 pm_

 

 **grammar nazi:** *cinnamon

 

 **innocent cinnimon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** i will kill you

 

_You renamed yourself to “innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this”_

_4:35 pm_

 

_You named the conversation to “Chemistry Project”_

_4:35 pm_

 

 **Mary:** I’m gone for like one second and there’s already been a fight between the married couple

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** WE ARE NOT MARRIED

 

 **Mary:** You guys act like it

 

 **Mary:** Right, Molly?

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** we dO NOt

 

 **Molly:** Yeah, you guys kinda do

 

 **grammar nazi:** *kind of

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** for GOD’s SAKE SHERLCOk

 

 **grammar nazi:** *Sherlock

 

 **Mary:** SHERLCOK

 

 **Mary:** IM CRYING

 

 **Mary:** OH MYGOD

 

_Mary named the conversation to “SHERLCOk"_

_4:37 pm_

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** NO NO NO

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** THIS IS NOT OKAY WHITH ME

 

 **grammar nazi:** *with

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** I will not hesitate to kill you

 

_grammar nazi renamed grammar nazi to “Sherlock”_

_4:38 pm_

 

_Mary renamed Sherlock to “sherlcok”_

_4:38 pm_

 

 **sherlcok:** Mary no

 

 **Mary:** mary yes

 

 **sherlcok:** Mary please not now

 

 **innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this:** MARY YES OH MY GOD THANK YOU

 

_sherlcok renamed innocent cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve this to “jonh”_

_4:38 pm_

 

 **sherlcok:** Now how does it feel, John?

 

 **jonh:** Do you feel it now, Mr. Krabs?

 

 **Mary:** I M CRYIN G OH MY GOD

 

 **Mary:** J O H N I LOVE YOU

 

 **Molly:** Oh my God

 

 **Molly:** What have I gotten myslef into?

 

 **sherlcok:** *myself

 

 **jonh:** SHERLCOK


	2. HOMLeS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, you guys are all very nice and supportive of this story! So thank you very much! I was able to finish another chapter, so here you all go?  
> Have fun with it!

_ SHERLCOk  _

_ Sunday, 2:30 pm _

 

**jonh:** guys how do you do maths? 

 

**Mary:** Why? Do you need help? 

 

**jonh:** yes and I have no one to talk to

 

**jonh:** which means, yes. I am lonely

 

**sherlcok:** Yes, we know that. You didn’t have to point that out. 

 

**jonh:** shut up

 

**jonh:** no on likes you

 

**sherlcok:** *one

 

**sherlcok:** And that’s not true. You do

 

**jonh:** I’m regretting being your friend right now

 

**sherlcok:** Wow

 

**sherlcok:** Thanks, John

 

**jonh:** that was a joke

 

**jonh:** Sherlock?

 

**jonh:** It was just a joke, Sherlock. I didn’t mean it. Please don’t leave.

 

**sherlcok:** Oh, sorry? I was busy dealing with Mycroft.

 

**jonh:** o

 

**sherlcok:** John, were you concerned if I had taken that seriously?

 

**jonh:** no

 

**jonh:** obviously not

 

**sherlcok:** Really?

 

**Mary:** o that got really angsty

 

**jonh:** shut up, sherlock. I can hear your stupid sarcastic tone

 

**jonh:** and really Mary?

 

**Mary:** I was concerned the otp was going to break up

 

**sherlcok:** Top?

 

**sherlcok:** Top

 

**sherlcok:** *top

 

**sherlcok:** Stupid phone. O T P ?

 

**Mary:** TOP

 

**Mary:** I M DEAD

 

**jonh:** Im CRYING

 

**jonh:** GRAMMAR NAZI HOLMES HAS BEEN DEFEATED BY TUMBLR

 

**jonh:** I NEEED TO PUT THIS ON MY BLOG

 

**sherlcok:** John No

 

**jonh:** IM DOING IT AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

 

**Mary:** WHEN ARE YOU POSTING IT

 

**jonh:** LIKE RIGHT NOEW

 

**sherlcok:** *now

 

**jonh:** I COULD CARE LESS HOMLES

 

**Mary:** HOMLeS

 

**Mary:** IM SCREAMING

 

**Mary:** SHERLCOK HOMLES

 

**Mary:** THE SMARTEST KID ON THE BLOCK

 

**sherlcok:** I can’t believe this is happening

 

**Molly:** Um, what’s going on?

 

**Mary:** JUST READ UPWARDS

 

**Molly:** I can’t do that if you guys keep sending messages!

 

**Mary:** I CANT STOP CRYING

 

**jonh:** I posTED IT

 

**Mary:** IM GOINGT O GO REBLOG IT

 

**sherlcok:** Wait, you have a blog?

 

**jonh:** Yeah, you didn’t know that? 

 

**sherlcok:** Where?

 

**jonh:** um

 

**jonh:** you don’t need to know

 

**Mary:** AHHHHHHHH YOU HAD PICTURES.

 

**Molly:** HOMLES

 

**Molly:** OH MY GOD

 

**Molly:** WAIT MARY SEND ME A LINK

 

**Molly:** I NEED TO SEE THE POST

 

**Mary:** KK ILL SEND IT TO YOU 

 

**sherlcok:** Can I get a link?

 

**jonh:** NO

 

**sherlcok:** And why not? Aren’t we friends?

 

**jonh:** We are, but um, you don’t need to see it

 

**jonh:** AND MARY, REMEMBER OUR AGREEMENT

 

**Mary:** OH RIGHT

 

**Mary:** JOnH CAN I GIVE MOLLY A LINK TO YOUR BLOG?

 

**jonh:** Yes you can

 

**Mary:** YES

 

**Mary:** I M SENDING IT TO YOU NOW MOLLy

 

**Molly:** IM EXCITED

 

**sherlcok:** Why can they see it and not me? 

 

**sherlcok:** I thought we were friends, John

 

**jonh:** We are

 

**jonh:** And that’s exactly why you aren’t going to see it.

 

**Molly:** WIAT, JOHN YOU’RE BI?

 

**jonh:** MOLLY> OH MY GOD

 

**sherlcok:** Wait, what?

 

**Mary:** MOLLY, YOU CAN’T SHARE THAT!

 

**jonh:** MOLLY

 

**Molly:** I’m SORRY! oH GOD I THOUGHT I WAS JUST TEXTING JOhn.

 

**jonh:** MOLLY

 

**jonh:** MOLLY I TRUSTED YOu

 

**Mary:** THIS IS EXACTLY WHY JOHN HAS TRUST ISSUES

 

**sherlcok:** He had trust issues to begin with

 

**Mary:** Yeah, well this makes it worse

 

**Molly:** I’m really sorry, John. I didn’t mean to out you. I thought I was texting only you and I didn’t realize that I was in the group chat. I’m so stupid. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, John.

 

**jonh:** eh, it was going to happen anyway, so who cares? You’re fine Molly. It’s just a four person group chat. The only person who’s really learning about this is you

 

**sherlcok:** And me. I didn’t know you where bi, John.

 

**jonh:** but you’re Sherlcok Homles, you know everything

 

**sherlcok:** But, why didn’t you tell me?

 

**jonh:** I didn’t think it mattered?

 

**sherlcok:** I would have liked to have known your sexual preferences

 

**jonh:** okay? Hi, I’m John Watson. I’m bisexual and a cis male. My pronouns are he/him?

 

**sherlcok:** I’m Sherlock Holmes

 

**Mary:** *sherlcok homles

 

**sherlcok:** Mary, No.

 

**Mary:** Mary yes

 

**jonh:** Mary yes

 

**Molly:** Mary yes

 

**Mary:** 3 against 4, Sherlcok 

 

**Mary:** You can’t escape us now

 

**jonh:** no way in

 

**jonh:** no way out

 

**jonh:** no way in no way out no way in no way out

 

**Mary:** no way in no way out

 

**jonh:** no way in no way out

 

**Molly:** no way in no way out

 

**sherlcok:** Guys, stop it

 

**Mary:** no way in no way out

 

**jonh:** no way in no way out

 

**Molly:** no way in no way out

 

**sherlcok:** I’m not joking. Please stop

 

_ You named the conversation to “no way in no way out” _

_ 2:43 pm _

 

**sherlcok:** Oh my God

 

_ Mary named the conversation to “sherlock homles” _

_ 2:44 pm _

 

**sherlcok:** I’m not okay with this

 

**jonh:** I mean, blame me. I made the typos in the first place

 

**sherlcok:** I do.

 

**jonh:** ily2 babe

 

**sherlcok:** ?????

 

**sherlcok:** What?

 

**Mary:** John, I think you broke him

 

**sherlcok:** Very confused.

 

**jonh:** Sherlock?

 

**sherlcok:** ?

 

**jonh:** don’t worry about it. It was a joke

 

**sherlcok:** Okay

 

**sherlcok:** Can I see your blog now?

 

**jonh:** NO


	3. sherlock homles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another addition to the chem chat....I'm sorry?  
> No I'm not.  
> Yes I am.  
> Um, thank you guys for the comments and all.... I didn't know people would like it..  
> Have fun~

_sherlock homles_

_Monday 11:30 am_

 

**jonh:** I can’t believe you just did that sherlock

 

**sherlcok:** What?

 

**jonh:** that sub literally hates us now

 

**sherlcok:** I was the one to insult him, I don’t know why you are getting glared at.

 

**jonh:** because I know you and now he assumes that I’m like you. A bloody ass

 

**sherlcok:** I am not a donkey nor am I covered in blood.

 

**jonh:** MARY WHERE ARE YOU

 

**Molly:** She’s presenting in her speech class

 

**jonh:** what about?

 

**Molly:** Something about butterflies

 

**jonh:** wow very specific

 

**Molly:** sorry

 

**sherlcok:** She should have done it on bees.

 

**jonh:** um why?

 

**sherlcok:** Bees are way more interesting than butterflies.

 

**Molly:** I totally agree. I told her she should have done bees

 

**Molly:** But she didn’t listen

 

**jonh:** she told me you were the one to recommend butterflies?

 

**Molly:** o

 

**jonh:** the lack of a response or explanation is really telling

 

**jonh:** how THE FUCK DID YOU PISS HIM OFFSOME MORE

 

**sherlcok:** I merely stated that he wasn’t right for the job.

 

**jonh:** JeSUS SHERLCOk thE heLL

 

**sherlcok:** *Sherlock

 

**jonh:** Fuck off, the sub wants to kill all of us now because of your stupidity

 

**sherlcok:** I am way too smart for this world, John. The substitute is the one that is stupid.

 

**jonh:** I hate you

 

_Monday 12:45 pm_

 

**Mary:** O what did I miss?

 

**jonh:** me wanting to strangle sherlock

 

**Mary:** *sherlcok

 

**jonh:** fight me

 

**Mary:** ok, when and where?

 

**jonh:** Nandos’ parking lot

 

**jonh:** 2:00 am

 

**jonh:** don’t tell ur mum

 

**Mary:** kk

 

**Mary:** aw shit, can we reschedule fam? I gotta fight another person at that time

 

**jonh:** um, how about tmorrow? Like, I have no other time to fight

 

**Mary:** damn, no I’m finally getting sleep then

 

**jonh:** o, well I guess we could just find another time then

 

**jonh:** Also, Mike’s asking to join the gm? Should I let him?

 

**sherlcok:** Why?

 

**Molly:** I mean, sure, I don’t mind

 

**Mary:** if u want

 

**jonh:** Mike’s my friend and he’s really concerned how I keep laughing and smiling at my phone at random times

 

**sherlcok:** But he isn’t apart of our chemistry project.

 

**sherlcok:** He doesn’t even take chemistry.

 

**Mary:** SHERLCOK IS JEALOUS

 

**sherlcok:** I am not.

 

**Molly:** OH MY I SEE IT MARY I SEE IT

 

**Mary:** YOU SEE THE JEALOUSY TOO

 

**sherlcok:** I am not jealous. I am just merely stating that Mike Stamford has nothing to do with this group chat. He doesn’t even take chemistry, so he won’t even be any help.

 

**jonh:** Sherlock, when have we once talked about chemistry on this gm?

 

**sherlcok:** When you started it.

 

**jonh:** And?

 

**jonh:** your lack of response is my evidence. Case closed.

 

**jonh:** so, all in favor of Mike joining, send I

 

**jonh:** I

 

**Mary:** I why not

 

**Molly:** I

 

**sherlcok:** nay

 

**jonh:** 3 v 1 Mike is in

 

_You added Mike to sherlcok homles_

_12:56 pm_

 

**jonh:** Welcome to Hell, Mike

 

**Mary:** Hi, Mike

 

**Molly:** Hello!

 

**Mike:** Um, why is your name ‘jonh’?

 

**jonh:** You don’t want to know

 

**Mike:** Also, why ‘sherlcok homles’?

 

**Mary:** I’m StiLL LAUGHINg

 

**Molly:** That will never not be funny

 

**jonh:** Just blame it on my fat fingers

 

**Mary:** um you do not have fat fingers

 

**Mary:** they are just uncoordinated

 

**jonh:** sure

 

**Mary:** jONH AGREE WITH ME RN

 

**jonh:** I don’t need to agree with you

 

**Mary:** BE THERE AT NANDOS 2:00

 

**jonh:** I HTOUGHT YOU ALREADY HAD A FIGHT

 

**Mary:** I DID, BUT THIS DESERVES MOVING IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ME THAT YOU DO N O T HAVE FAT FINGERS

 

**Mary:** SHERLCOK< HELP ME ExPLAIN

 

**sherlcok:** The average male ring size is a ten, and John’s is a nine. Since he’s still growing because of his age group, I suggest he’d be about a ten or eleven by the time he’s done. And that is still within the common ring sizes for me. So, your fingers cannot be considered to be fat.

 

**jonh:** wow

 

**jonh:** um

 

**Mary:** cute

 

**Molly:** I’m screenshotting

 

**Mary:** send me pics

 

**Mary:** I’ll put ‘em on my blog

 

**Molly:** You sound like John

 

**Mary:** listen

 

**Mary:** I’m not bi

 

**Mary:** but 20 dollars is 20 dollars

 

**Mike:** what

 

**Molly:** whAT

 

**jonh:** MARY

 

**jonh:** YOU BETTER TEXT ME AN EXPLINATION

 

**sherlcok:** *explanation

 

**jonh:** SHERLCOK


	4. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorill-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soRRY I have been deaded. just stuff happened  
> um thank you for enjoying this?  
> I love writing this, it always makes me smile a lil.  
> Also, this chapter was actually a lot of fun to write so I hope this makes up for my writers block.

_ sherlcok homles _

_ Sunday 5:36 am _

 

**sherlcok:** Good morning, idiots.

 

**jonh:** sherlock, y r u texting in th gm at 5 in the morning

 

**sherlcok:** Make that drowsy idiots.

 

**Mary:** o m god y 

 

**jonh:** its sunday

 

**jonh:** y r u up at fuckinb 5 oclock in the mornin

 

**sherlcok:** There are many things wrong with that sentence, but I shall decide to let them slide due to the fact that you just woke up.

 

**Mary:** where molly at

 

**sherlcok:** Most likely sleeping. Speaking of which, why are you two awake?

 

**jonh:** because my pho ne woke m e up  a r s e h o l e

 

**Mary:** I second that, even tho its a mess

 

**sherlcok:** Too bad. You should have thought to put your phone on silent.

 

**jonh:** i didnt expect some one to text me aT FIVE OCLOK IN THE MORNING

 

**sherlcok:** Whatever. You’re awake now.

 

_ You renamed sherlcok to “a r s e h o l e” _

_ 5:39 am _

 

**a r s e h o l e:** You had to space it out like that?

 

**jonh:** yes

 

**Mary:** i think it's slightl y accurate

 

_ a r s e h o l e renamed jonh to “i d i o t” _

_ 5:40 am _

 

_ a r s e h o l e renamed Mary to “i d i o t # 2” _

_ 5:40 am _

 

**i d i o t:** ouch

 

**i d i o t # 2:** tat really hurts sherlock

 

**a r s e h o l e:** *That

 

**i d i o t:** f u C K I n G Sh ErlcO K

 

**i d i o t:** i a m go I Ng to m u R dEr yoU

 

**i d i o t:** aNd m aKe iT loOk Li kE aN aC C iDe NT

 

**a r s e h o l e:** I’d like to see you try.

 

_ Sunday 6:10 am _

 

**i d i o t:** sherlock homles

 

**i d i o t:** open your door

 

**a r s e h o l e:** John, what are you doing here?

 

**i d i o t:** I will give you 5 minutes

 

**i d i o t # 2:** omg he is actually going to murder u

 

**i d i o t:** come to your door and answer it you prick

 

**a r s e h o l e:** John, you’ve proven your point. You can leave.

 

**i d i o t:** i. am. not. in. the. mood.

 

**i d i o t:** opEn. yOuR. dOoR. sHER L cOk hOmlEs

 

**a r s e h o l e:** John, I am not letting you into my house. 

 

**i d i o t:** which One Is yOur wiNdow?

 

**i d i o t:** bEcAuse I wilL fiNd you

 

**i d i o t:** anD I will /KiLL/ yoU.

 

**i d i o t # 2:** omG 

 

**i d i o t # 2:** #urdeadkiddo

 

**a r s e h o l e:** How did you even get my address?

 

**i d i o t # 2:** rip @sherlcok

 

**i d i o t:** mYcrOfT

 

**i d i o t # 2:** i will remember u fam

 

**i d i o t:** fOunD iT!

 

**a r s e h o l e:** John no

 

**i d i o t:** jOhn yEs

 

**i d i o t # 2:** johN yESsss

 

**a r s e h o l e:** Don’t encourage him, please.

 

**i d i o t # 2:** @jonh uSe thE cOpYpaSta

 

**i d i o t:** oMG yESssS uR amAZiNg mAry

 

**i d i o t # 2:** #mybodyisready

 

**a r s e h o l e:** Copypasta?

 

**i d i o t:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 

**i d i o t # 2:** i aM fUcKinG dYinG

 

**a r s e h o l e:** We’re in the UK? What?

 

**i d i o t:** fiGhT mE

 

**a r s e h o l e:** John, you're being idiotic.

 

**i d i o t:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?

 

**i d i o t # 2:** oM gOd I'm cRyIng

 

**i d i o t:** I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 

**i d i o t:** now let me in

 

**i d i o t:** or im climbing in thro the window

 

_ Sunday 12:30 pm _

 

**Molly:** um, good morning?

 

**i d i o t # 2:** that is a liberal use of the word good

 

**i d i o t # 2:** o wait jonh did u get into sherlcoks house?

 

**i d i o t:** i did ye

 

**i d i o t # 2:** kk gucci

 

**a r s e h o l e:** Gucci? Isn’t that a clothing store or brand of some sort?

 

_ You renamed i d i o t to “john” _

_ 12:32 pm _

 

_ You renamed a r s e h o l e to “arsehole” _

_ 12:32 pm _

 

_ i d i o t # 2 renamed i d i o t # 2 to “mary :3 ” _

_ 12:32 pm _

 

**arsehole:** Wait, why I am still ‘arsehole’ ?

 

**john:** because ur still a grammar nazi and until u have proven urself, u shall remain arsehole

 

**mary :3 :** yeah i can agree

 

**arsehole:** I feel betrayed.

 

**john:** good

 

**mary :3 :** hi betrayed, im dad.

 

**john:** oh mY gGOD

 

**arsehole:** That doesn’t work, at all.

 

**mary :3 :** thats why it s funny

 

**mary :3 :** random=funny

 

**arsehole:** John, stop laughing. It’s not that funny.

 

_ You renamed arsehole to “betrayed” _

_ 12:35 pm _

 

_ You renamed mary : 3 to “dad” _

_ 12:35 pm _

 

**dad:** you have just made a grave mistake jawn watson

 

**betrayed:** That is an interesting way to spell John.

 

**john:** oH mY GOD

 

_ dad renamed john to “jawn” _

_ 12:36 pm _

 

_ dad renamed dad to “daddy” _

_ 12:36 pm _

 

**jawn:** oH MY YGGG OODOD

 

**jawn:** mARY NO

 

_ daddy named the conversation to “jawn wat-SON” _

_ 12:37 pm _

 

**daddy:** it is me son. Ur daddy

 

**jawn:** I aM VERY unCOMFoRtBALe

 

**betrayed:** *uncomfortable

 

**jawn:** sHERLOCK 

 

**daddy:** *sHERLCOK 

  
**jawn:** oH mY DGOD


	5. RwdE by sherlock homles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hollly frick i am sorry you guys  
> i wrote this in a day because i am suPER FUCKING HYPE FOR SEASON 4  
> and I had a burst of inspiration, so ahahahhahah  
> im dead inside  
> so, here's another chapter. I think I might get another chapter out sooner.  
> Also, thank YOU FOR ALL YOUR KIND WORDS!!! YOU'RE ALL SO KIND!! AND I LOVE YOU ALL!!  
> Please enjoy this lil' chap.

_ jawn wat-SON _

_ Tuesday 3:45 pm _

 

**jawn:** mARy

 

**jawn:** mA. r Y 

 

**jawn:** mAry o m g wAk e UP 

 

**jawn:** MARYYYYYY

 

**daddy:** whaT why cAnt you ju st text me?

 

**jawn:** i DID AND YOU DIDNT REASPOND

 

**betrayed:** *respond

 

**jawn:** shut the bloody hell ur mouth

 

**daddy:** wT f do you want jawn

 

**betrayed:** ????

 

**jawn:** first off....

 

_ You renamed daddy to “mary” _

_ 3:48 pm _

 

**mary:** awW the Fick jAwn

 

**jawn:** now i feel so much better

 

_ You renamed betrayed to “sherl” _

_ 3:48 pm _

 

**sherl:** Okay, why am I being dragged into this?

 

**sherl:** And, why the hell is my name “sherl”?

 

**jawn:** because this girl one time called you sherl and i started to fucking cry

 

**jawn:** it was the funniest thing and you were too oblivious to hear ut 

 

**jawn:** and she has this massive crush o you 

 

**sherl:** Why here then? And who is she?

 

**jawn:** because I couldn't help myslef

 

**jawn:** i dont think i can tell u

 

**Molly:** Yeah, who is she? I’m curious

 

**sherl:** Well, it’s not Molly. So, it’s not anyone in the group.

 

**jawn:** how do u know its not Molly?

 

**sherl:** She suddenly elevated her grammar, almost like she’s trying to impress us. She genuinely wants to find out who it is. If she did it, she would instantly claim that it wasn't her. 

 

**mary:** how do you know it's not me? 

 

**sherl:** Mary, you and I both know who you like. And it’s most definitely not me.

 

**jawn:** o shit

 

**jawn:** what if it was me?

 

**jawn:** waht if i was making up the whole entire story to fool you?

 

**sherl:** Do you really get off on my name being “sherl”? 

 

**jawn:** good point

 

**sherl:** Also, your typing has been horrendous. What is wrong with you?

 

**jawn:** i m excited

 

**sherl:** Why?

 

**jawn:** b e CaUSE THE NEW SEASON FOR MY FAVORITE T V SHOW IS COMINGOUTI N LIKE  TWOOOO DAYS 

 

**mary:** O mG ITS THE GA Y ONE ISNT Y

 

**jawn:** yE. SEESSS AND  I AM SO READY FOR THE ANGST

 

**jawn:** AND THE KISSSSSSSSSSSS

 

**sherl:** What the hell?

 

**Molly:** Oh my gOd ARE YOU TALKING ABOUY WHAT I THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

 

**mary:** I FORGOT I SAW YOUR BLOG ONTUMBLR

 

**mary:** SHE SHIPPS AS WELL AND WATCHES

 

**jawn:** REALLY? YOU WATCH DORIAN?!?!??!?!?

 

**Molly:** oMg YES I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!!!!

 

**jawn:** o m G 

 

**jawn:** mOll Y GIMME UR TIMBLR

 

**Molly:** •//////• n O I HAVE STUFF ON THERE

 

**mary:** *psssss jawn*

 

**mary:** i got u fam ;D

 

**jawn:** *heart eyes* ily mary

 

**mary:** ;DDDDDDDDDD

 

**sherl:** What the hell is happening?

 

**sherl:** What is this “Dorian” that you’re talking about?

 

**jawn:** have i not told you about Dorian? 

 

**sherl:** You have never talked about it.

 

**jawn:** o MGOD YOU D LOVE IT

 

**mary:** jAwn im Ashamed™

 

**jawn:** hi Ashamed™ i'm dad

 

**mary:** geT. OuTTT

 

_ You renamed mary to “Ashamed™” _

_ 3:58 pm _

 

**Ashamed™:** i am c r y i n g

 

**jawn:** sherlly~ 

 

**Ashamed™:** omg w t f john watson

 

**sherl:** What the hell?

 

**jawn:** You’d love this really gay show.

 

**sherl:** And why would you think that?

 

**jawn:** you lov classical literature righ?

 

**sherl:** Sure.

 

**jawn:** this tv show is a modern adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s “The Picture of Dorian Grey”

 

**jawn:** they changed it to a sort of murder-mystery-like show and made it so much better than the actual book

 

**jawn:** and the romance between Dorian and Basil is pure subtext, which prompts many non believers to think that the whole show is straight

 

**jawn:** but there are so many actions that are carried out in the writing and framing of shots and color choice and even drink codes. The whole show has it’s own underlying story as well as the main one

 

**jawn:** it's a huge romantic arc for Basil and Dorian, and Dorian’s a cold, calculating sinner that thinks he’s not enough for Basil. And Basil’s this nice and accepting painter that demonstrates his feelings really early within the show but is rejected by Dorian, so when their relationship can blossom, Basil is unable to make a move due to fear.

 

**jawn:** this also apparent with the writers, one themselves being a gay man, so we can know for sure that this plot isn't going to be one of queer baiting 

 

**jawn:** the downside is that there are only three episodes per season with like a two to three year hiatus in between . But each episode is like 1 hr and 30 mins long.

 

**jawn:** you have time to catch up.

 

**sherl:** Wow.

 

**sherl:** I guess I’m slightly intrigued. This TV show it's something you’re really invested in.

 

**jawn:** I AM!!  bEcause Representation is I m pOrtant™™™™

 

**sherl:** Okay, I’ll think of trying the show.

 

**jawn:** You hAve no time to jUst TrY the shOw

 

**Ashamed™:** John has a point

 

**Molly:** I agree with John!!

 

**jawn:** we could have a watch party?

 

**Ashamed™:** i’m busy with my family right now sorry 

 

**Ashamed™:** :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

 

**jawn:** you will be missed mary

 

**jawn:** Molly? hbu?

 

**Molly:** I have hw and a project to do. so i can't

 

**Molly:** But please tell us your reaction Sherlock!!!

 

**sherl:** I guess I will.

 

**jawn:** Mike?

 

**Mike:** Nah mate. I have a date and I don't watch stuff like Dorian

 

**jawn:** Aw have fun and use protection

 

**Mike:** Okay mom. We don't need that.

 

**jawn:** m iKe i am No w THE MOM FRIEND

 

_ You renamed jawn to “mom” _

_ 4:08 pm _

 

**mom:** hELLO MY CHILDREN

 

**Ashamed™:** jOhn nO

 

**Molly:** what have you done Mike?

 

**Mike:** John why

 

**sherl:** John, what happened to you?

 

**mom:** i'm going insane. i need to watch my gay sons

 

**sherl:** This watch party is happening but it's only me and you?

 

**mom:** hELL yeah bOi

 

**sherl:** I’m not sure how I should feel about this.

 

**Ashamed™:** uSe PROTECTION

 

**mom:** mA r Y I m c r y I n G

 

**sherl:** Can I leave this hellhole?

 

**mom:** never

 

**Ashamed™:** remember sherlock homles, no way in, no way out

 

**Molly:** no way in no way out

 

**sherl:** John, stop them.

 

**mom:** why?

 

**sherl:** I won’t watch your show if you don’t.

 

**mom:** ST O P I T NOW

 

**Ashamed™:** yEeSh SHER L DONT BE SO RUDE

 

**Ashamed™:** dONT YOU KNOW IM HUMAN TOO?

 

**mom:** maRy 

 

**Molly:** Oh i love that song!

 

**sherl:** What? What song?

 

_ Ashamed™ renamed the conversation to “RwdE by sherlock homles” _

_ 4:11 pm _

 

**mom:** mary i am ashamed

 

**Ashamed™:** hI ASHAMED I M DAD

 

**mom:** i m d o n e 

 

**mom:** b l o c k e d, r e p o r t e d & d e l e t e d

 

* * *

 

 

_ To: Sherlock _

_ 4:11 pm _

 

**You:** Hey, are you serious about that watch party? Because I was.

 

**Sherlock:** Yes. I am not doing anything better with my time. 

 

**Sherlock:** Besides, you’d probably break into my house anyway.

 

**You:** TruE!!!!

 

**You:** What time works 4 u?

 

**Sherlock:** Any time that works for you. I only have to worry about Mycroft. My parents are off on a holiday vacation in different parts of the world.

 

**You:** Wow. Lucky ducks 

 

**Sherlock:** That they are. Mycroft’s busy as well, so we’ll be undisturbed.

 

**You:** You have Netflix right?

 

**Sherlock:** I do. May I ask why?

  
**You:** you may not.


End file.
